running on empty

i hate the way i act.
deal with things.
overreact.
ugh.
why cant i change.

wow
i dont really like this at all
=/
goodnight.

ugh so tiredddddddd
kinda drunk
in love basically.
i hope she know's she makes me the happiest girl ever.

So I've been working like mad.
40 hours a week is alot.
kinda sucks cause me and bridgette arent spending time like we want to.
Although in the long run,when we do get an apartment at the end of the summer. It will be flipping amazing. I'll be loving life. Being with the girl i ADORE.
and yea.

Oh me and bridgette got back together. So far things are amazing. I couldnt be any happier and i hope the same is for her.

and im waiting for her sexy face to come get me now actually.=]=]

her end of storyyyyyyy <3

and i do creepy things just to make her smile duhh

i miss her
effing alot.

i get to see her everyday of my life though.
makes me the happiest girl in the world.
Incase you didnt know, her name is bridgette.
She's sexyyyyy all the time=]

blahhh worst day

ever =[

ugh bitches are gonna get smacked
hahahah or just spit on

about 420 ugh went alright

this week in general just poopy

=/

i miss her alot

i made her smile today =]

im so disgusted in myself
for just letting myself fall
over and over again for her


and my ending result is
usually crying

blah
first pay check today
i've been working everyday for 7 days
im exhausted so exhausted
i miss my best friend kj alot

blahhhhhhh
and bridgette well bridgette is doing her own thing
and i think im just going to do mine

i dont see us getting back together she just isnt showing me anything

all she does is makes me cry
something she's good at
something she likes to do alot


all she cares about is her self
and she wants to be happy
and left alone


and yea maybe she found out some
stuff

well i dont really care



if she expects to work on things

i'd like to see some effort


on a good note


i hung out with miller
and kelsey today
went wonderful
i finally went out
with my friends for once and
had a smile on my facce

i hope i dont get to attached to my friends like i always do i always end up hurt =/

so i've been lonely
really lonely alone and cold
i lost all my friends
and my girlfriend
i've lost everything
and im depressed
i have nothing
i need anyone just a friend
someone to hang out with
someone to understand that my whole life i've never been happy
i've been happy in school and my friends are the only people that make me happy and there gone
and i have a million reasons why they are

fed up with alll my shit
i understand and my emotions are hard to control
and my senseitivity is becoming a problem

me being this way and how bad its become has changed me
my anger is out of control
i cant handle my emotions ever
never really could
i just havent learned how to master any thing my body or my feelings

i dont know why my friendships are so short term ...
im trying to figure this all out

my longest friendship is bridgette and it scares me
because i dont want to ever ever loose her because she's the
only girl in the world that makes me happy


i love her

and i just want her to know
i never meant to treat her this way
i never mean to yell
i never mean to say half the things i say

i think im going to stop smoking pot
for a while see if it makes me any happier


ugh i've missed her all day and its been bothering me =[
and i wont call her because she wants her space
she might be getting drunk but i wont care just as long as she calls me when she gets home ♥



alone =[[

smoking a bowl trying to get back to sleep meh
i love her
i miss herrrr blehhh

love you sexiloviebear

im gonna make her feel like a princess you just wait
city today with the baby <3 =]

i hung out with a bunch of my old friends today
kinda was nice <3
hung around islip and shit

than my night was shitty considering there wasnt any men or anything in the car and it was fucking stress full lol

but whatever i got to see my baby <3



love her ♥

no no this time they filed the police report ...

is it even worth it blah i duno .....


i love her

meh i cant call her anymore
or i'll have a police report filed against me wtf ?

ughhhh so never again.. this is kinda sorta gonna be short.. I've been with my dad all weekend .. kinda boring .. i've been the target.. i cheated.. and yea im paying for it all... blah i really wish i could explain my true feelings..i love her tremendously end of story <3

So its been almost a weekish living at bridgettes house. Its been super relaxing i love it tons. I really just like being with my puppppppy sydnie =] and kacie.. Kj and marvin keep me company alot.. its nice i misss just hanging out with my biffles <3

I miss bridgette nicole alvarado with all my heart


home misses you sexy face ♥

she asked me how i felt about our relationship
like it was gonna end..
like she really didnt know if we were gonna be together...


makes me feel real good =/



i'll update pictures later